Caesarea Philippi (Danielle)

*dedicated to Danielle, the girl who got away from me my freshman year. Well er, actually she kinda just politely distanced herself from me upon receiving flowers I sent her shortly after we met. D'oh!!! I guess Im just not good at communicating with the women! Oh well, here’s what I really meant to say instead of sending flowers to her....

[You see, I still reflect on the all the hypothetical outcomes I could have had with her instead of this present one, you know? To this day I feel she would have been the best match for me if our familiarity with each other were to progress and unfurl conventionally....instead of frenetically due to my surging emotions and heartbeats when I saw her..... oh well, let me stop sulking *sigh*!!!!]

(Matthew 16:13-16)
When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am? And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets. He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

-------------------- Caesarea Philippi – To Danielle


You see,
life is walking and ministering
earnestly trying to sway the foolhardy from
believing in casual fleeting encounters
that have no lasting value
or meaning, ones soon forgotten as the blazing trail
of the sun heralds the coming of the starry hosts and
its sparkling white sovereign – the moon
with no way to provide a bridge to continuity of the
initial spark of emotion felt
(when I looked into your eyes for the first time,
Danielle)
whether blind or mute to the possibilities of genuine relationship,
hunchbacked or profusely
hemorrhaging from a wound that wont scab (from emotional
tumult caused by other guys) or through tragedy or adversity
in your past;
inhabited by a demon who ransacks your will to want to
press onward - in trusting -
scorching fire or frigid water
discouraging and scorning the prospect of even taking a risk
to try and get to know me, or even maybe just plain fear
of the Sadducees and Pharisees of conventional norms
(ardently pursuing my premature demise)
that forbid you to want a black man
more or less fall in love with one
and so Ive come close to coasts of moribund waters
seeking answers, exasperated after trying to heal maladies
that I am considered alien, and mysterious
imploring response
to the general populace, but more specifically to
a disciple who has seen me at school
smiled and spoken to me on numerous occasions
(albeit brief ones on the way to class)
who did you think I was? Who did people tell you
that I am?
to precipitate your distance, the separation that defined
the waning of our friendship, after I sent you flowers
ultimately culminating in your departure
for another school, and thence into marriage
(with a great guy Im sure) in which I wasn't a party
even though you didn’t know that's what I wanted;
so badly
I wanted to save you from that encompassing
superficiality of meeting someone and not really knowing them
content walking away from good things
of seeking romance but not knowing how to ask for it
or from whom....
I just wanted to redeem you from the fallen state of grace
of being by yourself without a man who appreciated you
(like in Eden).....
I just wanted to be your savior (of sorts)
your new Adam
....Isnt that who you took me to be?



(then why did you run away, why did you run away?)





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And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.