American Idol Season 8 Auditions in Jacksonville, Florida. In a huge auditorium-esque room are the judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and newly acquired Kara DioGuardi. The judges are seated behind a long wood table with metal legs atop a basically vacant wood panel floor. Behind them is a window revealing the city streets and various pedestrians walking along sidewalks behind and adjacent to the building. The cameras are rolling and outside the audition room are anxious singers eager to prove their worth, and some with lesser talent hope to either be seen on television or avoid outright shameful comments from Simon Cowell]
[Tony Conti enters the room and stands before the judges]
Randy Jackson: ...yo yo yoooo! Tony from Rockville, Maryland! Whats up dawg? Hows life in Maryland, dawg?
Tony Conti: Its alright son, feel me?
Randy Jackson: Yeah! yo yo yo! My man Tony talking with the Maryland slang! I like that dawg!
Simon Cowell (rolling his eyes): Lets get on with this. What are you going to sing for us today?
Paula Abdul: Tony you look like such a nice young man...someone I would never consider dating but someone who I would love to say "let's just be friends" if you asked me out on a date!
Tony Conti: Im going to perform a poem I wrote about idols.
Kara DioGuardi: ....uh....this is a singing competition
Simon Cowell: See! This is why we hired her. So much better than Paula!
Paula Abdul: HEEYY!
Randy Jackson: Okay guys, enough. Tony show us what you got man.
---------------------[These are MY Psalms: Psalm 135 Goodbye Idolatry/ I have fashioned Idols for myself]------------
Pornography you were made with gold of my purest passions
you were tempered with hope of satiation
and refined in the fires of bitterness and anger at having no woman
to please me
I made eyes for you and asked that you see me in dire emotional straits
to watch my deepest needs
to look past my regret and guide me to a safe haven
away from rejection, and tension and scrupulosity
from the female mind
I made your mouth and your ears to hear my lust
to speak my truth that indulgence is the only prudence
the only way to escape frustration
you promised me that I would never need another
if I bowed before you
Pursuit of Money, you were made with silver of my most earnest desire to be rich
you were tempered with dreams of a better life, lush living
and refined in the fires of materialism and covetousness - and
utter disregard for the poor
I made eyes for you and begged that you would massage my broken ego
you looked at my depravity, as I sought consolation for my indebtedness
you saw my weekly and monthly income laid bare before you
I made your mouth with a chisel of naivete and ears to hear my discontent
you prophesied and spoke of credit cards
you told me the rich only get rich and the poor only get poor
to store up my treasures on earth
because possessions are the only measure of a man's worth
so I splurged (and never saved) as
I lowly bowed before you
Laziness you were made with copper of my keenest fears
you were tempered with thoughts of tomorrow, and rest for today
and refined in the fires of procrastination and putting away
for more opportune times
I made eyes for you and pleaded for mercy, implored you to see my plight
overworked and under appreciated...I asked you to empathize with
too much toil, and no relaxation
I made your mouth carelessly, and without precision and ears disproportionate
because you told me there was always time to resume later
the most genuine human experience is rest
sleep is a shelter in times of upheaval
I spoke to you of my fear of failing in my work
the future is for worry
eating, drinking, and being merry is for now
you advised as I paid my tithes to you
My dearest idols
but now as am I mired in unhappiness,
debt, lust, and sloth
I realize you do not speak
I realize you do not hear
I have sacrificed at the altars of falsehood
and worshipped my own mind on my home mantle
for so long you lied to me, making me like you
you promised me mirth
leaving me only with nonexistence
obscurity
[I am like you - seeing but not seeing, hearing but not hearing and speaking but not speaking]
[May God forgive us all]
--------------------------------
Simon Cowell: What in the **&! was that? That was like a dog throwing up on hot asphalt on a summer day in Cancun, then some hot chick throwing her used lipstick on it
Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson: What!!!!????
Paula Abdul: Tony, that was nice, and you are such a nice person. But I just dont think youre right for this competition
Simon Cowell: Tony, youre just not right for life. That was the absolute worst song/poem, whatever you call it, I have heard in my entire life! That sounded like a turtle spitting out his own phlem and then wiping his butt on it
Kara DioGuardi: Tony, you should write your poems and put it on a blog so you can delude yourself that you actually have talent and console yourself with the thought that the whole "world wide web" is reading it, thus giving your misguided mind a sense of purpose
Randy Jackson: Ouch! Kara hitting below the belt! Sorry Tony man, you just dont have any talent. Youre worthless dawg. Its a NO for me
Simon Cowell: NO
Kara DioGuardi: NO
Paula Abdul: NO
Randy Jackson: Thats four "NO's" man, maybe next year dawg!
[Tony Conti exits the room, and the next singer walks in behind him]
---------------///////////////////////////////////
Jeremiah 7:30
The people of Judah have done evil in my eyes, declares the LORD. They have set up their detestable idols in the house that bears my Name and have defiled it
Psalm 135:14-18
For the LORD will vindicate his people
and have compassion on his servants.
15 The idols of the nations are silver and gold,
made by the hands of men.
16 They have mouths, but cannot speak,
eyes, but they cannot see;
17 they have ears, but cannot hear,
nor is there breath in their mouths.
18 Those who make them will be like them,
and so will all who trust in them.
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