Friday, May 29, 2015

The Ghost of Ann... #EMO



* Jesus, pray for me
* Dedicated to The Amity Affliction, Chasing Ghosts
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPwMwqfx5no
* Dedicated to My Chemical Romance, The Ghost of You
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCUpvTMis-Y
* Dedicated to Paramore, Misguided Ghosts
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePY8FWqk_fU
* Dedicated to Ann (The Ghost)….and to what could have been, but never was….

When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear – Matthew 14:26

+---------------/The Ghost of Ann

Ann, my hopes for you,
when I first met you,
your curly blonde hair pulled back
behind your ears, your ample décolletage
intoxicating, were grandiose, epically
and eternally coup d'état,
never meant to meet constraint in a small
rickety wooden vessel jostled by tumult,
jabbed and strangled by Galilean waves
of romantic insecurity, harangued by
winds of my insidious self-doubt. 
You were supposed, your breasts
like a stately beard commanding
respect and sagacity; screaming
of carpentry and Virgin births,
to inexplicably upend the Roman reign
of my singleness and dating destitution,
the cohorts of vile soldiers of social shame
that urinate in front of the temple
of my childhood dreams, daring to
profane the Holy of Holies of my desire
for marriage.  Over time you fed
5,000 of my fantasies like famished men
salivating on a hot hillside, panting,
with your sexy gait and sartorial class,
raised my servile melancholy mood
from the dead with just a word:
an email as a promissory note as dependable
as a divine command, analogous to a
centurion balking out orders to his men-
that you would eat lunch with me.
But now, now you are married.
Far removed from me on a distant shore,
probably praying for your newfound love,
these aforementioned fount of fond
memories of mine, over time seem to
vanish without an evidentiary trace, like
mist in the night. I imagine
for a moment that you walk out
to me on impossible waters of anachronism,
that instead of denying me lunch
thrice, you ate with me
and you loved me. That you got in the
boat with me and calmed everything
in my heart down.
That everything we had wasn’t
a ghost of a savior disregarding me-
translucent, immaterial salvation-
as he passes by…
callously allowing everything I hoped in
to capsize and drown
in years and years of bitter resentment.


[GOD IS ANY GIRL I PURSUE AND CHASE AFTER EVER GOING TO LOVE ME FOR ME???!!! OR ALL THEY ALL GOING TO BE IMMATERIAL? I CAN SEE AND NOT TOUCH (MY HAND PASSES THROUGH THEIR HANDS), LOVE BUT NOT KISS, CRY AND RECEIVE NO EMPATHY…? ANN YOU ARE A CLASSY GIRL, TOTALLY MY TYPE. I WILL DEARLY MISS YOU. HERE IS A PIECE OF MY HEART, A RELIC OF MY GOOD INTENTIONS FOR YOU LEFT BEHIND FOR YOU TO READ ALWAYS. WHEN I WALKED BY YOU THE OTHER DAY I WANTED TO SPEAK, I WANTED TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYES AND WISH YOU WELL IN YOUR NEW MARRIAGE...BUT I COULD NOT. ONE DAY I WILL. BUT NOW, IN THE THROES OF MY BOUT OF LONELINESS....ITS TOO HARD FOR ME.]

----Chasing Ghosts Lyrics
Will they remember my name when I'm gone
 (when they know what I did was so f* wrong)
 Put the steel to my wrist, lost the breath in my chest
 (just to forget all the wrongs I had left)
 I took the exit, left my friends in the gutter
 (left my life right behind me, left myself, left it all)
 Left myself, left it all, not a falter, not a stutter
 Not a note, and now?
 (there’s nothing at all)

Are you at all haunted by memories past?
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
 Is your chest so heavy you're ready to leave?
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?

And now we roll on...
 I'm gone now,
 I don't remember much,
 I just know that I would have been better off if I had stayed,
 Spoken to a friend,

Let my heart keep on beating and not given it all up
For the grave, for the grave
 There's no one there on the other side (other side)
 There's nothing more than what I had.
 There's no ghost left to haunt you so you know I'm still here,
 Just the end of my life nothing left here at all.
 There's no memories here, just the regrets of the dead,
 Please don't follow my footsteps - cherish all you have left.

Are you at all haunted by memories past?
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
 Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?

There's no one there on the other side
 (there's no one there on the other side)
 There's nothing more than what I had
 (there's no ghost left to haunt you).

There's no ghosts
 There's no memories here
 Just the regrets of the dead
 Please don't follow in my footsteps
 Cherish all you have left

There's no memories here (memories here)
 Just the regrets of the dead (regrets of the dead)
 Please don't follow in my footsteps (my footsteps)
 Cherish all you have left.

Are you at all haunted by memories past?
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
 Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?

Are you at all haunted by memories past? (memories past)
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last? (breath your last)
 Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave? (ready to leave)
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve? (someone will grieve)

----------The Ghost of You Lyrics

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
 If I died, we'd be together
 I can't always just forget her
 But she could try

At the end of the world
 Or the last thing I see
 You are
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the things that you never ever told me
 And all the smiles that are never ever...
 Ever...

Get the feeling that you're never
 All alone and I remember now
 At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
 She dies

At the end of the world
 Or the last thing I see
 You are
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the things that you never ever told me
 And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
 For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall
 If I fall (down)

At the end of the world
 Or the last thing I see
 You are
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
 And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
 For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

----Misguided Ghosts Lyrics

I'm going away for a while
 But I'll be back
 Don't try to follow me
 'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
 See, I'm trying to find my place
 But it might not be here where I feel safe

We all learn to make mistakes
 And run from them, from them
 With no direction
 We'll run from them, from them
 With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
 Travelin' endlessly
 Don't need no roads
 In fact, they follow me
 And we just go in circles

And now I'm told that this is life
 That pain is just a simple compromise
 So we can get what we want out of it

Would someone care to classify?
 Our broken hearts and twisted minds
 So I can find someone to rely on
 And run to them, to them
 Full speed ahead
 Oh, you are not useless
 We are just

Misguided ghosts
 Travelin' endlessly
 The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
 And there's no one road
 We should not be the same
 But I'm just a ghost
 And still they echo me

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