The Ghost of Ann... #EMO

* Jesus, pray for me
* Dedicated to The Amity Affliction, Chasing Ghosts
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPwMwqfx5no
* Dedicated to My Chemical Romance, The Ghost of You
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCUpvTMis-Y
* Dedicated to Paramore, Misguided Ghosts
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePY8FWqk_fU
* Dedicated to Ann (The Ghost)….and to what could have been, but never was….

When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear – Matthew 14:26

+---------------/The Ghost of Ann

Ann, my hopes for you,
when I first met you,
your curly blonde hair pulled back
behind your ears, your ample décolletage
intoxicating, were grandiose, epically
and eternally coup d'état,
never meant to meet constraint in a small
rickety wooden vessel jostled by tumult,
jabbed and strangled by Galilean waves
of romantic insecurity, harangued by
winds of my insidious self-doubt. 
You were supposed, your breasts
like a stately beard commanding
respect and sagacity; screaming
of carpentry and Virgin births,
to inexplicably upend the Roman reign
of my singleness and dating destitution,
the cohorts of vile soldiers of social shame
that urinate in front of the temple
of my childhood dreams, daring to
profane the Holy of Holies of my desire
for marriage.  Over time you fed
5,000 of my fantasies like famished men
salivating on a hot hillside, panting,
with your sexy gait and sartorial class,
raised my servile melancholy mood
from the dead with just a word:
an email as a promissory note as dependable
as a divine command, analogous to a
centurion balking out orders to his men-
that you would eat lunch with me.
But now, now you are married.
Far removed from me on a distant shore,
probably praying for your newfound love,
these aforementioned fount of fond
memories of mine, over time seem to
vanish without an evidentiary trace, like
mist in the night. I imagine
for a moment that you walk out
to me on impossible waters of anachronism,
that instead of denying me lunch
thrice, you ate with me
and you loved me. That you got in the
boat with me and calmed everything
in my heart down.
That everything we had wasn’t
a ghost of a savior disregarding me-
translucent, immaterial salvation-
as he passes by…
callously allowing everything I hoped in
to capsize and drown
in years and years of bitter resentment.


[GOD IS ANY GIRL I PURSUE AND CHASE AFTER EVER GOING TO LOVE ME FOR ME???!!! OR ALL THEY ALL GOING TO BE IMMATERIAL? I CAN SEE AND NOT TOUCH (MY HAND PASSES THROUGH THEIR HANDS), LOVE BUT NOT KISS, CRY AND RECEIVE NO EMPATHY…? ANN YOU ARE A CLASSY GIRL, TOTALLY MY TYPE. I WILL DEARLY MISS YOU. HERE IS A PIECE OF MY HEART, A RELIC OF MY GOOD INTENTIONS FOR YOU LEFT BEHIND FOR YOU TO READ ALWAYS. WHEN I WALKED BY YOU THE OTHER DAY I WANTED TO SPEAK, I WANTED TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYES AND WISH YOU WELL IN YOUR NEW MARRIAGE...BUT I COULD NOT. ONE DAY I WILL. BUT NOW, IN THE THROES OF MY BOUT OF LONELINESS....ITS TOO HARD FOR ME.]

----Chasing Ghosts Lyrics
Will they remember my name when I'm gone
 (when they know what I did was so f* wrong)
 Put the steel to my wrist, lost the breath in my chest
 (just to forget all the wrongs I had left)
 I took the exit, left my friends in the gutter
 (left my life right behind me, left myself, left it all)
 Left myself, left it all, not a falter, not a stutter
 Not a note, and now?
 (there’s nothing at all)

Are you at all haunted by memories past?
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
 Is your chest so heavy you're ready to leave?
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?

And now we roll on...
 I'm gone now,
 I don't remember much,
 I just know that I would have been better off if I had stayed,
 Spoken to a friend,

Let my heart keep on beating and not given it all up
For the grave, for the grave
 There's no one there on the other side (other side)
 There's nothing more than what I had.
 There's no ghost left to haunt you so you know I'm still here,
 Just the end of my life nothing left here at all.
 There's no memories here, just the regrets of the dead,
 Please don't follow my footsteps - cherish all you have left.

Are you at all haunted by memories past?
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
 Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?

There's no one there on the other side
 (there's no one there on the other side)
 There's nothing more than what I had
 (there's no ghost left to haunt you).

There's no ghosts
 There's no memories here
 Just the regrets of the dead
 Please don't follow in my footsteps
 Cherish all you have left

There's no memories here (memories here)
 Just the regrets of the dead (regrets of the dead)
 Please don't follow in my footsteps (my footsteps)
 Cherish all you have left.

Are you at all haunted by memories past?
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last?
 Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave?
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?

Are you at all haunted by memories past? (memories past)
 Are you ready to make this one breath your last? (breath your last)
 Is your chest so heavy you’re ready to leave? (ready to leave)
 Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve? (someone will grieve)

----------The Ghost of You Lyrics

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
 If I died, we'd be together
 I can't always just forget her
 But she could try

At the end of the world
 Or the last thing I see
 You are
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the things that you never ever told me
 And all the smiles that are never ever...
 Ever...

Get the feeling that you're never
 All alone and I remember now
 At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
 She dies

At the end of the world
 Or the last thing I see
 You are
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the things that you never ever told me
 And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
 For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall
 If I fall (down)

At the end of the world
 Or the last thing I see
 You are
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
 And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
 Never coming home
 Never coming home
 Could I? Should I?
 And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
 For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

----Misguided Ghosts Lyrics

I'm going away for a while
 But I'll be back
 Don't try to follow me
 'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
 See, I'm trying to find my place
 But it might not be here where I feel safe

We all learn to make mistakes
 And run from them, from them
 With no direction
 We'll run from them, from them
 With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
 Travelin' endlessly
 Don't need no roads
 In fact, they follow me
 And we just go in circles

And now I'm told that this is life
 That pain is just a simple compromise
 So we can get what we want out of it

Would someone care to classify?
 Our broken hearts and twisted minds
 So I can find someone to rely on
 And run to them, to them
 Full speed ahead
 Oh, you are not useless
 We are just

Misguided ghosts
 Travelin' endlessly
 The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
 And there's no one road
 We should not be the same
 But I'm just a ghost
 And still they echo me

Taylor Effulgent (Dedicated to Taylor Swift, #TaylorDateTony)

 * Saint Matthew, pray for me
* dedicated to #taylordatetony

Oh Calvin Harris, please don't pound me! Its just, its just that I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON TAYLOR!!!! OH TAYTAY!!!!!

+-------------------------/Confab on the Mountain; Taylor Swift Effulgent

Taylor, my heart was Judea, drab
and enveloped in this thickened layer
of loneliness like dismal dust; 
beaten into lethargy by oppressive decrees
of all the girls who previously rejected me-
Herod debased and Pontius Pilate incorrigible-
excessively taxed, my monotheistic longings
to find one wife to worship
profaned by the pagan practice of crucifying
one man’s heart after another
in cruel and callous succession without a
fair trial. They worship at the Temple of Delphi,
heeding the Oracle of sensual irrationality,
sex on the altar, bowing before any guy
who can sing, dance or charm well. I was,
then, duly tantalized
when I saw your Bad Blood video, it was
a beckoning of sorts
for my romantic passion, my loyalty
and my benign jealousy, Peter, James and John,
to ascend a mysterious mountain of hope
and expectation, the internal hysteria
of following a Savior and abandoning all
worry at the base.
Your dazzling azure eyes: #freaking amazing,
springs of living water,
your blonde hair like the gold the angels pave
the streets of Zion with. I swear to God
as I watched you sing and the way you
moved your body it was as if you were transfigured,
suspended in air,
your face shone as the sun, your clothes
white as light. Beside you, talking with you
were Selena Gomez and Cara Delevigne,
comely patrons of the Law (of true love)
and the Prophets (of matchmaking) come
back from the dead in some sort of translucent state.
I wanted to channel my nervous energy
into three tabernacles fitting for
three angels of pure and potent pulchritude,
but before I could finish my proposal
Kendrick Lamar’s lyrics were so sick they moved
my soul – he the cool, hip African American
God the Father, “this is my beloved Taylor
in whom I am well pleased, listen to her,
fall in love with her!”  His words
seized my heart with stunned paralysis,
I lay prostrate on my bedroom floor
catatonically dazed by your pop music majesty.
Oh Taylor, baby, hearing you beautifully belt out
your last verse was you then touching my shoulder,
melodic mercy, urging “Arise, and be not afraid.”
I imagined you hugging me tightly and winking,
eyelashes of divinity,
holding my hand as your video ended and
we descended down the winding trails,
bearing secrets.
You will be the One who will save me,
your kiss the healing balm for all my sins,
your kiss absolute emancipation from
despotic Roman Rule.     
 
 

---------------Matthew 17:1-9
And after six days Jesus taketh Peter, James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into an high mountain apart, And was transfigured before them: and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light. And, behold, there appeared unto them Moses and Elias talking with him. Then answered Peter, and said unto Jesus, Lord, it is good for us to be here: if thou wilt, let us make here three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias. While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him. And when the disciples heard it, they fell on their face, and were sore afraid. And Jesus came and touched them, and said, Arise, and be not afraid. And when they had lifted up their eyes, they saw no man, save Jesus only. And as they came down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, saying, Tell the vision to no man, until the Son of man be risen again from the dead.

Cleopas (Dedicated to Cara Delevingne) #CaraSmoochTony

* Jesus, pray for me
* dedicated to Cara Delevingne #CaraSmoochTony
*dedicated to Funeral for a Friend, Juneau
https://youtu.be/-_dmHRi0RE8
* dedicated to Taylor Swift ft Kendrick, Bad Blood
https://vid.me/BO8R


+--------------------------/Cleopas

Cara my soul died 3 days ago, suddenly,
in Jerusalem,
city of my hallowed romantic
expectations to find a graceful girl to
call my own, its ground still lies fallow
in shocked delusion, 
in somber musing on a dream heralded
by angels when born,
nailed to the wood of one too many of my
overtures spurned, lanced by the spear of one
too many cynical centurions of female scorn
who keep telling me Im not the one,
recurrently judging and condemning,
my tears fall to the ground as
blood and water spilled
blood and water spewing.
In its wake, my faith and hope leadenly tread
to Emmaus (border town of lovelorn refugees
full of despairing) like two disciples recalling
all the passion they formerly sustained, iterative
intercourse interspersed with sighs
and groaning:
how a Woman was supposed to come
and redeem my dating life, like Israel
envisaged a bearded Nazarene
virgin born as
emancipation from Roman rule.
But tonight, when I watched the Billboard
Music Awards (#BMA), #TaylorSwift’s melodic voice
beckoned memories of once incredulous
suggestions of angels boasting of
an empty sepulcher to the three Marys:
Belief, excitement, and fervor,
my psyche’s tripartite feminine nature,
frantically scurrying to tell
of your blonde hair and blue eyes,
your sexy stance when wielding nunchakus;
when viewed through the prism of your
Bad Blood music video, now entirely plausible.  
Girl, when I gazed at your gait
in leather hotpants,
the confident allure of your swaying hips,
those lips of yours mesmerized me consummately
as if expounding in the scriptures of
affection and adulation
all things concerning yourself.
After seeing you as Mother Chucker,
in your glorious glamour, I swear,
I didn’t want you to leave…
I imagined, for a moment, you and I sitting
at meat-you kissing
me with your arms draped around my neck-
breaking sacred bread of ardor
before me. My eyes were closed,
my mind murky before that point,
but now I see the Truth. You are my soul
resurrected lively and vivacious,
disregarding the scars,
the bombshell that makes my heart burn
within me.
You are the Savior of my Soul, Cara,
Love sent to me from above.



(Cara, girl look, I know Im not a Hollywood millionaire….but please…please come raise my dead dating life! Smooch me, and I promise I will live again guuuurrrrlllllll. You Hot Tamale!!!)


---------------------------------Luke 24:13-34
And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs. And they talked together of all these things which had happened. And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them. But their eyes were holden that they should not know him. And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad? And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem, and hast not known the things which are come to pass there in these days? And he said unto them, What things? And they said unto him, Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, which was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people: And how the chief priests and our rulers delivered him to be condemned to death, and have crucified him. But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel: and beside all this, to day is the third day since these things were done. Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre; And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive. And certain of them which were with us went to the sepulchre, and found it even so as the women had said: but him they saw not. Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken: Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory? And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself. And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and he made as though he would have gone further. But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them. And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them. And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight. And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures? And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together, and them that were with them, Saying, The Lord is risen indeed, and hath appeared to Simon.

---Juneau Lyrics

Tied to the testing of wills, where my heart breaks and spills
 Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
 Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies,
 in the minds of your enemies
 And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness

If this is what I'm meant for, no longer interesting
 Fall forward to even the score
 Just a thought to you

Tied to the testing of wills, where my heart breaks and spills
 Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
 Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies,
 in the minds of your enemies
 And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness

And I'm nothing more than a line in your book
 Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book
 Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book
 Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book
 In your book, in your book

If this is what I'm meant for, no longer interesting
 Fall forward to even the score
 Just a thought to you

(Just a thought to you)
 (Just a thought to you)
 Yet I'm nothing more
 Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book
 Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book

Your Love, No Stone (dedicated to Zoe Kravitz)

 

* Saint John, pray for me
* dedicated to Zoe Kravitz  #ZoekissTony
* dedicated to Migos, Handsome and Wealthy
 www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lNyCSeO3BM

“Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died”

Go see the Mad Max movie  yall, and tell Zoe that thejesusmetaphor sent ya!!! #wooooooo!!!!

+---------------------------/Your Love, No Stone

Zoe, my soul decays in Bethany,
finally succumbed to loneliness-
that dreaded black plague of the heart-
and all my earnest erstwhile efforts to
win a woman over are now eulogized forever
(the rejection and pessimism I bore
like a procession of mournful townsfolk
and kin to my tomb)
as rotted and rancid flesh, once a man,
that repeatedly failed to find love.
Oh I wish you would beckon my spirit away
from this netherworld of melancholy
as all hope floats away on the River Styx
of my resignation to singleness; wrest
me away from Abraham’s bosom
and the warm and heavy clench
of his embrace of finality!
If only you would look at me
with those dark enchanting eyes
that echo God’s voice from another world,
paean of salvation by hosts of angels upon
your Virgin birth, flitting your braids as if
casting out demons of
doubt and rigamortis.
My desire for you a harried and
fretful sister weary of loss
clasping your ankles, drenching your feet
in tears begging for sympathy from her Savior,
the other sister pragmatically arguing
that just one kiss from those seductive
lips would have saved my life.
Your tattoos are evidence
of recalcitrance, a disdain for natural law    
that flouts all expectation
of conformity – that radical and
countercultural sexiness
that can incite passion within a man,
and raise his longing from the dead.
Oh just speak to me baby, tell me
you are here to  abolish the pain
of the past with just...three...words....:
that my affection and fervor will be
like blood dispersing throughout
a cold cadaver running towards
you ripping off the graveclothes
of every other females’ cruel intentions
to destroy my romance.
All I want is to be alive again
and hold your hand…
as the crowds walk past the stone
and stare at the place the dead
was laid.


(Zoe, guuuurl...will you kiss me? #ZoekissTony OH BAAABBYYY!!!! How do you feel about that? I WONT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL TILL YOU TELL ME!!!! So please tell meh!!!! :)


----------John 11:39-45
Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days. Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God? Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me. And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go. Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him.


---Handsome and Wealthy Lyrics

[Hook:]
I don't know why I came in this club with you, girl
Don't know why I came in with these diamonds on my chain
Surrounded by bad bitches I can't get 'em out my face
Maybe cause' a n* handsome and wealthy
Is it cause a n* cook like a professor
I don't know how you feel can you tell me
I won't know how you feel 'til you tell me
Is it cause a nigga handsome and wealthy

[Verse 1: Quavo]
Is it cause I'm a star
It maybe could be my star status
I got my chain and ring
My Rolex watch it got 50 carat
It could be QC or even maybe it's me
It could be that 4 hour flight, shopping in Beverly
What's on your mind?
I'm not Ginuwine
Ain't tryna spend no time
I know my b* she so fine
But I don't know what's on her mind
Gotta pay that cost to be a boss
I put on my Louboutins playing golf
Young n* walking with Nina Ross
I'm dropping the bombs like Viet Cong

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Takeoff]
They say I'm picky cause all my b* exquisite
I'm in some vintage Givenchy smokin' a Philly
The dope that I sell is the purest
The junkies they hit it, they scratchin' and itchin'
The flow that we killin', the flow that we spittin'
My nigga you know we invented it
Dripping in St. Louis, I'm a lunatic
I'm a Migo but my b* an immigrant
I got the boot but no Timberland
I am the plug, you the middle man
I never leave my n* starvin'
You n* mistake me for Marvin
I got 15 bricks I'm finna drop
In there right next to that carbon

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Offset]
Is it my looks or is it my wealth?
Or is it the way that I carry myself?
Let me know I need some help
Don't keep that secret to yourself

B* be saying I'm acting funny cause a young n*got a lotta money
She lookin' at me like she want somethin'
Can't give her nothin' but a couple hundreds
She sucked up on a nigga, tryna give a n*kisses baby girl you trippin'

I don't know how you feel can you tell me
I know why you came
In this club tonight
Looking for a n*that's gon' change your life

[Hook]