The Bread of Jennifer Lawrence

*Dedicated to Jennifer Lawrence, oh please Jennifer, fall in love with me!!!!

----------------/The Bread of Jennifer Lawrence; The Hunger Games of My Heart

I, on the lam, am exhausted, emaciated with yearning for you

and filled with dread (of being single forever)

and sweating

Saul the King of Loneliness – for so many years- has placed a bounty

on my head throughout the kingdom my broken heart

my sobbing listless body, calloused soul despondent rejected yet again

on the lips of royal couriers riding horseback

parchment promulgated high on walls at the gates of Israel in the King’s Ink

“Tony is never to marry, nor shall he kiss a woman beautiful”

also rhymed and sung by maidens outside the Tent of Meeting, my envious Facebook friends.

Grizzled soldiers with swords, arrows leery peering around each corner seeking a particular death:

my confidence discouraged so as to never date anyone again.

I hear jealous howls fading from castles, sneers at my love for you reverberating from watchtowers

owls, hawks and vultures of pessimism outside the city walls prowling, I duck and run

stumbling in descent.

I seek solace in refuge hasty flights for Silver Linings Playbook, The Hunger Games,

X-Men First Class, you at the Oscars victorious drooling before the television

the tabernacle of my worship

Panting with my throat parched I beg Heaven’s pardon for lust

It must be sacrilege, for me to behold your angelic face, to smile like a kindred spirit

In the Holy of Holies

intuiting and understanding your sense of humor, to envision you falling in love

with a friend of the king’s rebellious son: hope against hope, Jonathan

Jennifer, baby, even if I am disingenuous before common sense posing as Ahimelech the priest;

my true belief in us dating might pass as delusion, necessitating extreme caution 

as the paparazzi and my haters would be in hot pursuit, Saul’s assassins

I must insist on eating, I must insist on finding true happiness after so many years of hunger

not the common bread, girls who diss and mock and spurn

but bread of  the  (Your) Presence:

The bread of you and me together our Romance of perpetual satiation

(crumbs of joy intermingled with tears of bliss rolling down my chin, cheeks filled with devouring )

[Jennifer Lawrence, baby, congrats on winning your Oscar! Now celebrate your win by falling in love with me and marrying me! thejesusmetaphor@yahoo.com !

As we feast on love, we can ridicule The Hunger Games – because the food of our affection will stave off our desire for food, of ever being hungry again!]

----1 Samuel 21:1-6

Then David came to Nob to Ahimelech the priest. And Ahimelech came to meet David trembling and said to him, “Why are you alone, and no one with you?” And David said to Ahimelech the priest, “The king has charged me with a matter and said to me, ‘Let no one know anything of the matter about which I send you, and with which I have charged you.’ I have made an appointment with the young men for such and such a place. Now then, what do you have on hand? Give me five loaves of bread, or whatever is here.” And the priest answered David, “I have no common bread on hand, but there is holy bread—if the young men have kept themselves from women.” And David answered the priest, “Truly women have been kept from us as always when I go on an expedition. The vessels of the young men are holy even when it is an ordinary journey. How much more today will their vessels be holy?” So the priest gave him the holy bread, for there was no bread there but the bread of the Presence, which is removed from before the Lord, to be replaced by hot bread on the day it is taken away

That Damascus Road

image taken from Free Bible Study Lessons

* Dedicated to Rick Ross, Ten Jesus Pieces

* Dedicated to St. Paul, Pray for me, speak to me…

----------------------/Wistful About The Damascus Road; Acts Chronicles Chapter 21 - Paul's Thoughts On Going to Jerusalem

On a horse, riding to Damascus a lust for blood

I watch myself discarnate and detached in my daytime dreaming,

a stained dagger taped to my thigh, cloak draped on my shoulders

the veneer of my treachery (misguided). On my face the mechanical stolid sneer

I hear the screams of the innocent as peals of thunder

peripheral gazes of children convulsing in apoplexy like lightning at noon

blinding me on my back my conscience scowling at my company, who fled-

writhing alone while plumes of dust asphyxiate compulsive

sneezing (back aching).  

A lot has changed since then, since stones slayed Stephen.  

I wince at the man I once was in repentant anguish, the full moon

the fullest expression of stigmata eliciting my excruciating shrills

ominous precursor to sufferance, my acquaintance with his nails

his wood becomes our cross my boat

when shipwrecked the seas become blood like Pharaoh’s plague

has become mine; a spear lances water and blood; An oath: that we cant smile again

unless we are absent from this body, my joy is to be with him and like him 

And this gospel

these journeys by land and sea promulgating news on how to be free

are just biding time, my breathing is borrowed by grace, my strength

by Mercy running running running after ghosts of the pasts

trying to erase memories of slaughter while simultaneously accepting absolution  

of my God, and chronologically distant my people. Years are my pedagogues

differentiating true Gentile and True Jew, discipleship of Spiritual politics not Roman

disregarding notions of wealth and homage to the Ceasars in favor of faith hope love

What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart?

I am all set for Jerusalem, the beginning and the end

dying so I can truly live

my life converted so  all who follow me know the way to die

an honorable sacrifice, truly worthy

---------------------Acts 21:11-14

 And when he was come unto us, he took Paul's girdle, and bound his own hands and feet, and said, Thus saith the Holy Ghost, So shall the Jews at Jerusalem bind the man that owneth this girdle, and shall deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles. And when we heard these things, both we, and they of that place, besought him not to go up to Jerusalem.  Then Paul answered, What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. And when he would not be persuaded, we ceased, saying, The will of the Lord be done.

---Ten Jesus Pieces Lyrics

"Ten Jesus Pieces"

(feat. Stalley)

[Intro: Rick Ross]

God forgives, He's so honorable

But living amongst thieves and niggas like myself

You will not have that luxury

[Verse 1: Rick Ross]

I wake up excited, I made it through the night

Things I did in the dark, will it ever see the light?

My nurse should be a wreck, I got a bad chick

She keeps me erect, she loves my ad-libs

I think I'm a genius, hundred grand a f* feature

I do at least three a week, roll up the f* reefer

Went from Benihana to Bimini in Bahamas

Ten chains, no luggage, I'm a big timer

Niggas claim that they thugging when they d*-riding

My niggas rather walk, do they own brick climbing

On the block in my all white sneakers

Lord knows that my ten Jesus pieces

Pray for me cause you know a nigga doing wrong

My homie in the cell, so I had to write a poem

Count mills for the times that we had it hard

Asking for a hundred mill as I pray to God

[Hook: Rick Ross]

I do this for my niggas facing hard times

Empty on them corners if you hustling part time

Ten chains on, Eric B with mob ties

Rakim flows, coming from the far side

Blood diamonds and my pieces from apartheid

Quick, quote a prayer, pull it from the archives

I pray for every soul that this music reaches

Bury me a G, ten Jesus pieces

[Verse 2: Rick Ross]

Young nigga coming up, they wanna gun you down

Drinking vodka in the memory of my nigga, d* (I miss you Peanut)

Riding real slow on them all golds (we had them nigga)

Shopping for them Os when the mall close

Repping for your homies when they all gone

Get empowered then you put your dog on (Real s*)

All black tees, ten gold chains

At the Super Bowl, but we in the dope game

Ten years strong in the same trap

Ten years blowing on that strong path

Lord knows that I wanna live right

But Lord knows what that Club Liv like (right)

Forty dollar tab meaning forty grand

Lord what he got it rolled up in a rubber band

Holding on the forty in his other hand

Ten chains on, smoking in the motherland

[Hook: Rick Ross]

I do this for my niggas facing hard times

Empty on them corners if you hustling part time

Ten chains on, Eric B with mob ties

Rakim flows, coming from the far side

Blood diamonds and my pieces from apartheid

Quick, quote a prayer, pull it from the archives

I pray for every soul that this music reaches

Bury me a G, ten Jesus pieces

[Verse 3: Rick Ross]

I'm his poltergeist, niggas know I'm more than nice

All these jewels on, all boys are nice

I could see it in the sparkle cause it lackluster

Black card maxed out, d* black brother

White collar, black market

Chrome Smith and Wesson, back pocket

Eight shot, bitch I'm a top shotta

Screaming your affiliations, but that don't matter

I'm flyin' first class as the snakes slither

Never blackmail a mother* killer

On trial and they wanna execute me

It's really sad, just the fact they never knew me

True G to the core, feel my texture

A true G keeps it raw in his lecture

Keep it simple, white tee, new sneakers

Dope boy style, ten Jesus pieces

[Hook: Rick Ross]

I do this for my niggas facing hard times

Empty on them corners if you hustling part time

Ten chains on, Eric B with mob ties

Rakim flows, coming from the far side

Blood diamonds and my pieces from apartheid

Quick, quote a prayer, pull it from the archives

I pray for every soul that this music reaches

Bury me a G, ten Jesus pieces

[Verse 4: Stalley]

Versace shirt, Jesus laying on the chest

Man I swear Big did it the best, I mean

Nas did it fresh, Jay did it fresh, I mean

Ye did it fresh, but man Big did it the best

And I was so impressed that I went and got ten

Now I'm stunting on these niggas cause I couldn't back in

Rose gold, yellow gold, a couple platinum

And I wear them all at once, I ain't trying to match them

I remember bumping Mac 10 and that deuce in the corner

Scraping up for a sandwich and a soda

Now my strength is up and I'm dangling chains off my shoulders

But no Jesus piece on mine, cause at times I feel ashamed

For the reason that I rhyme

And they say, cause I'm Muslim I shouldn't think about the shine

Or even put it in a rhyme

It's better things I could talk about or put my money towards

But for now, I'ma wear these ten chains and floss

[Hook: Rick Ross]

I do this for my niggas facing hard times

Empty on them corners if you hustling part time

Ten chains on, Eric B with mob ties

Rakim flows, coming from the far side

Blood diamonds and my pieces from apartheid

Quick, quote a prayer, pull it from the archives

I pray for every soul that this music reaches

Bury me a G, ten Jesus pieces

[Outro]

We untouchable...

The Beauty of Baal (Worship)

Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time. 1 Kings 19:2

And Jezebel his wife said unto him, Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? arise, and eat bread, and let thine heart be merry: I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite. 1 Kings 21:7

 ----------------/The Beauty of Baal (Worship); Jezebel’s Thoughts As Jehu Approached Jezreel

And these are the things I learned as a little girl

in the temple of Baal:

coercion, hedonism, lust, intrigue, hasty hegemony:

to take what you want when you wanted it as grand metaphor

for living, honoring fertility our strictest paradigm, exorbitant increase

to parlay, to seduce to sexualize the culture’s consciousness

men and women lulled satisfied as yet unaware of consequence

temple sex suffused with incense on altars

women with women, breast on breast

(or that pitiably theyre already souls surrendered) in retrospect this was

heedless philosophy, careless theology

for laxity, the immediacy of appeasing a nations neurotic impulse

to secure divinity’s favor with grain

even at the cost of burning babies, smoke of the innocent rises

the serpentine smirk of the gods, the soot left behind comingled with blood

little bones of excess charred

in my peripheral vision detritus mixed with toe 

for the sake of the greater good promulgated by men in pompous robe

and yet hedonism only engenders anger that insatiable thirst for more

jewels, fields, priests, exotic spices….and power yet never enough

you shiver at night next to your husband uncontrollably, involuntarily

bemused beneath his quizzical midnight gaze

lying that all is well, your shrieking heart ready to explode amidst sweating

profuse

pleading with your subconscious to consider the contrary…

a little too late. It was into carnage and aristocratic condescension I was born

and to which I shall return as dust, make up, cleavage and braids

tears and blood

I will honor you Ethbaal, my father

and Baal my God

we will trample Israel until Israel tramples us

if she refuses to subjugate herself before your mighty hand

because…

we never knew another way did we Pop?

we never knew anything, Baal

but treachery

And he said, Throw her down. So they threw her down: and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the horses: and he trode her under foot. And when he was come in, he did eat and drink, and said, Go, see now this cursed woman, and bury her: for she is a king's daughter. And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands. 2 Kings 9:33-35

The Tishbite In Us All

Word up Prophet Elijah, John the Baptist…er…I mean Prophet Elijah! You know you’s my nicc-up, right? What up DAAAAWWWWGGGGG! So Elijah, speak to me my dude, what do you want me to tell the party peoples who FOLLOW MY BLOG (or me on Twitter, tee hee!)?

And Elijah the Tishbite, who was of the inhabitants of Gilead, said unto Ahab, As the Lord God of Israel liveth, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word. (1 Kings 17:1)

--------------------/The Tishbite In Us All: Elijah's Cry

When Solomon died so did the sun,

its then that the rain became soot and ash; my people has no flesh

drought in the northern Kingdom

I walk the streets of Israel flanked by skeletons skulls sockets hollowed

promises lost covenants forgotten blinded by the decay of disobedience

all speech now requires interpretation, boasts of gaiety, anger, concern

uniformly sound like groans, like children passing through fire

on all lips soliloquies of the stolid and sullen

(the sinister sappy squeals of Asherah diabolically incredulous)

I, the only incarnate soul, with blood pulsing through his veins,

with a veritable fleshy heart throbbing for Moses, walking through Yahweh’s graveyard

now courtyard of the Baals. I don’t sleep my dreams are waking visions

where hope pierces this eclipse like a shooting star whispering of secrets augural

 of salvation of flour that never diminishes and oil that never dissipates

that amongst the dead a son is resurrected so that hopes of those disconsolate follow suit -  

the belief that one day we will all be free again in Zarephath….soon

and David will dance, alive

and David will dance, once more  

My voice is the grating heavenly lyric the antipode to Jezebel’s serenades of seduction

it will be fire on altars of the wicked idolatrous where 450 are shamed to death

by the callous silence of effete emasculated gods

fires scorching, a moratorium on Ahaziah’s soldiers smoking in futility

 …because no weapon formed against destiny can prosper

but the revolution will not be heralded by great winds

nor preceded by great earthquakes

for although any change is as remarkable as chariots of fire ascending

a climax to triumph over adversity

it is the still small voice of one’s faith in God

above all that calls forth the Messiah, Eden’s restoration, Israel’s sunrise