--------------------/Bee-yaan--ca, Freak it - Bianca! You Made Me Crash My Car in Endor
Bianca,
when you died (left DC) everyone lamented, buried your memories in Ramah
(St. Anthony's) and I banished (or at least tried) all mediums
and spiritists, parlayers of superstitious improbable fates
-hearsay, whether beneficial or harmful
from the land; a clean severance so I could attempt to heal
But after awhile those pernicious Philistines,
with harrowing armies of detractions, and emotive foreboding musings
of being alone forever
of some other hotshot Christian guy wooing you
of never being allowed the opportunity to see you reciprocate
my yearnings;
the ecstasy of staring into your light eyes again
in a simple house – of our affections for one another
gathered together, torturing my mind and encamped at Shunem
(the city of my vulnerability, my last bastion of hope)
and
I was afraid, my heart trembled greatly
I called out – what about Bianca? I want her so badly
but no one listened, my dreams even shunning me
and so I enquired of my thoughts – brashness, impetuosity
like two guardsman to support me and
ran to En Dor, the town for the dejected and desperate
residents of perceived folly and mysterious sanctimony
of nebula – seeking a sign. Hardened yet remorseful
on the outskirts of the kingdom of sanity once exiled
and I illicitly (since I should have just let you depart
from my mind in peace)
begged the medium of my forlornness there
to bring you back, even if for a time because
I couldnt bear to be without you
for even a séance of my last impression of you
is better than the dearth of your presence at all times
and (when I was driving the other day) I saw you
in a vision, you conjured up
as if a phantom coming from the ground:
"I am deeply distressed and abandoned," I said.
"Therefore I have called you,
that you may reveal to me what I should do"
please, baby....
and you chastised me confirming my suspicions that love
has abandoned me
and Israel,
the kingdom of my optimism for winning you over,
soon would be handed to some other guy – [your boyfriend]
because of my disobedience to love –
of trying to coerce and rush ardor and amity
of impatience
of not permitting you to do ministry in another state without
bumbling romantic overtures
and that I would indeed be a victim to the Philistines,
on Muncaster Mill Road; and
I fell full length on the ground
dreadfully afraid
[and I did crash my car]
------1 Samuel 28:3-25
Now Samuel had died, and all Israel had lamented for him and buried him in Ramah, in his own city. And Saul had put the mediums and the spiritists out of the land. Then the Philistines gathered together, and came and encamped at Shunem. So Saul gathered all Israel together, and they encamped at Gilboa. When Saul saw the army of the Philistines, he was afraid, and his heart trembled greatly. And when Saul inquired of the LORD, the LORD did not answer him, either by dreams or by Urim or by the prophets. Then Saul said to his servants, “Find me a woman who is a medium, that I may go to her and inquire of her." And his servants said to him, "In fact, there is a woman who is a medium at En Dor." So Saul disguised himself and put on other clothes, and he went, and two men with him; and they came to the woman by night. And he said, "Please conduct a seance for me, and bring up for me the one I shall name to you." Then the woman said to him, "Look, you know what Saul has done, how he has cut off the mediums and the spiritists from the land. Why then do you lay a snare for my life, to cause me to die?" And Saul swore to her by the LORD, saying, "As the LORD lives, no punishment shall come upon you for this thing." Then the woman said, "Whom shall I bring up for you?" And he said, "Bring up Samuel for me." When the woman saw Samuel, she cried out with a loud voice. And the woman spoke to Saul, saying, "Why have you deceived me? For you are Saul!" And the king said to her, “Do not be afraid. What did you see?” And the woman said to Saul, "I saw a spirit ascending out of the earth.” So he said to her, "What is his form?" And she said, "An old man is coming up, and he is covered with a mantle." And Saul perceived that it was Samuel, and he stooped with his face to the ground and bowed down. Now Samuel said to Saul, "Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?" And Saul answered, “I am deeply distressed; for the Philistines make war against me, and God has departed from me and does not answer me anymore, neither by prophets nor by dreams. Therefore I have called you, that you may reveal to me what I should do." Then Samuel said: "So why do you ask me, seeing the LORD has departed from you and has become your enemy? And the LORD has done for Himself as He spoke by me. For the LORD has torn the kingdom out of your hand and given it to your neighbor, David. Because you did not obey the voice of the LORD nor execute His fierce wrath upon Amalek, therefore the LORD has done this thing to you this day. Moreover the LORD will also deliver Israel with you into the hand of the Philistines. And tomorrow you and your sons will be with me. The LORD will also deliver the army of Israel into the hand of the Philistines." Immediately Saul fell full length on the ground, and was dreadfully afraid because of the words of Samuel. And there was no strength in him, for he had eaten no food all day or all night. And the woman came to Saul and saw that he was severely troubled, and said to him, "Look, your maidservant has obeyed your voice, and I have put my life in my hands and heeded the words which you spoke to me. Now therefore, please, heed also the voice of your maidservant, and let me set a piece of bread before you; and eat, that you may have strength when you go on your way." But he refused and said, "I will not eat." So his servants, together with the woman, urged him; and he heeded their voice. Then he arose from the ground and sat on the bed. Now the woman had a fatted calf in the house, and she hastened to kill it. And she took flour and kneaded it, and baked unleavened bread from it. So she brought it before Saul and his servants, and they ate. Then they rose and went away that night.
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