Undaunted

Dedicated to Tupac, Who Do You Believe In

---------------------/Acts Chronicles Chapter 14: Undaunted; The Thoughts of Paul Recently Stoned and Left For Dead


When you believe in something, rather
someone nothing rather
no one can obstruct the conviction engraved deep
within your soul
because you’ve felt the sun rise though unable to see its light
and attempted to put many blankets upon blankets over your ears
trying (sincerely) to muffle the last groans
of the men and women you ordered murdered
the more macabre the massacre, the more mischievous
merriment you derived
though there was something disconcerting about the young men
who died without closing their eyes
(anyone of them could have been just like Timothy)
routine repression
of these memories is the thorn forever embedded
in your flesh that your conscience wont let you pull
and you recall rancor reserved for the man you one day
would call Savior, branding His words heretical
yet the same words made you whole again
commanding the same people who fled your voice;
who without hesitancy
lowered you down safely from imminent physical danger
in a basket, with rope carefully fortified
their voice in hushed tones to escape notice
redemption (your warm reception of each other)
so now you promise to always watch the sunrise
and that never in vain, and the moon and the stars
fortify the belief you have in the sanctity of second chances
the purity of the love of God's healing
streaming from heaven each time it rains
as you hold your arms outstretched and keep your head down
pensive
counting down the moments, the days, the hours
when eternity begins and the burden you feel finally eased
knowing the world forever free from guile
completely devoid of hapless misguided heroes and
innocent victims renowned for inordinate nobility
though we all know that’s a euphemism for passed away too soon.
armed
with the reservoir full of words welling up in your heart
of Gospel, of hope, of emancipation, of love, of peace
and the expiration of death and meaningless wars
promulgated by pathetic pompous autocrats and dictators
stones are just tribulations, merely
and the mobs throwing them temporary
crosses to bear
because after all you've been through no rock or petrified
pebble is jagged enough, no man strong enough
or acrimonious gathering of ignorant heathen men with
pouting lips and cutting stares discouraging enough to fail.
the resoluteness in your soul is uncompromising:
you swear you wont stop breathing
until you’ve finished bringing the healing balm of salvation
to the ends of the world



--------------Acts 14:14-21
And saying: Ye men, why do ye these things? We also are mortals, men like unto you, preaching to you to be converted from these vain things, to the living God, who made the heaven, and the earth, and the sea, and all things that are in them: Who in times past suffered all nations to walk in their own ways. Nevertheless he left not himself without testimony, doing good from heaven, giving rains and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness. And speaking these things, they scarce restrained the people from sacrificing to them. Now there came thither certain Jews from Antioch, and Iconium: and persuading the multitude, and stoning Paul, drew him out of the city, thinking him to be dead. But as the disciples stood round about him, he rose up and entered into the city, and the next day he departed with Barnabas to Derbe. And when they had preached the gospel to that city, and had taught many, they returned again to Lystra, and to Iconium, and to Antioch: Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith: and that through many tribulations we must enter into the kingdom of God.

Who Do U Believe (feat. Kadafi (Outlawz)) lyrics------------------------

[Intro: 2Pac]
Let us pray
Heavenly Father, hear a nigga down here
Before I go to sleep
Tell me, who do you believe in?
Who do you believe in?

[Verse One: 2Pac]
I see mothers in black cryin, brothers in packs dyin
Plus everybody's high, too doped up to ask why
Watchin our own downfall, witness the end
It's like we don't believe in God cause we livin in sin
I asked my homie on the block why he strapped, he laughed
Pointed his pistol as the cop car passed and blast
It's just another murder, nobody mourns no more
My tear drops gettin bigger but can't figure what I'm cryin for
Is it the miniature caskets, little babies
Victims of a stray, from drug dealers gone crazy
Maybe it's just the drugs, visions of how the block was
Crack came and it was strange how it rocked us
Perhaps the underlyin fact they hide explain genocide
It's when we ride on our own kind
What is it we all fear, reflections in the mirror
We can't escape fate, the end is gettin nearer

[Chorus 2X: 2Pac]
Who do you believe in?
I put my faith in God, blessed and still breathin
And even though it's hard, that's who I believe in
Before I'm leavin, I'm askin the grievin - who do you believe in?

[Verse Two: 2Pac]
Can't close my eyes cause all I see is terror
I hate the man in the mirror
Cause his reflection makes the pain turn realer
Times of Armageddeon, murder in mass amounts
In this society where only gettin the cash counts
I started out as a beginner
Entered the criminal lifestyle became a sinner
I make my money and vacate, evade prison
Went from the chosen one to outcast, unforgiven
And all the Hennessy and weed can't hide, the pain I feel inside
You know, it's like I'm livin just to die
I fall on my knees and beg for mercy, not knowin if I'm worthy
Livin life thinkin no man can hurt me
So I'm askin -- before I lay me down to sleep
Before you judge me, look at all the shit you did to me, my misery
I rose up from the slums, made it out the flames
In my search for fame will I change? I'm askin

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: Kadafi]
Faith in Allah, believe in me and this plastic
Cause so far I done witnessed to many dead *iggaz in caskets
With they chest plates stretched like elastic
And what's worse I'm on front line, holdin down camp, still mashin
Heard my cousin, one of the old heads from the block
Just came home October of '95 back in Yardsville stuck
with a three to five, if he don't act up, now he realize
If you don't stay wise, then in this game you ****
Talk to my baby girl, give me the word on what she heard
One of the grimmies is snitchin, Diamond a stool pigeon I talked to him
He said he didn't, my man said he did, in fact he's sure
Cause he just came home off of bail

[2Pac] Now tell me

[Chorus]

[Outro: spoken word]
Who do you believe in?
Is it Buddah, Jehovah, or Jah? Or Allah?
Is it Jesus? Is it God? Or is just yourself?
Definitely not to be imposed, being a demon
Because this is the joy of believing!
Men, to believe in yourselves
But for sure, the higher power
Resides only to ride in the heart of the true
From the soul, of the man; for truth never has an alibi
In the poetry, or in it's realm
That's what pulls all words together
Just to understand, that every man, is his OWN man
And only man can satisfy the man
Only the soul of the man, the feelings of the man
The for realness of the man
You can't shake the man when you feel the man you know the man
And you gotta call yourself because you are that man

[2Pac]
Who do you believe in?
I put my faith in God, blessed and still breathin

[singing while 2Pac speaks]
Who do you believe in? Put my faith in God, and
Blessed and still breathin

[singer + (2Pac)]
Even though it's hard (Who do you believe in?)
That's who I believe in (Put my faith in God)
Before I'm leavin (Even though it's hard)
I'm askin the grievin
(Before I'm leavin I'm askin the grievin - who do you believe in?)
Who do you believe in? (Who do you believe in?)
Who do you (Blessed and still breathin)
Oh blessed, oh blessed
(Before I'm leavin I'm askin the grievin - who do you believe in?)

[singer]
Oh who do you
Do you believe in
Hohhhhh-ohhhhh

[2Pac over singer]
Who do you believe in?
I put my faith in God, blessed and still breathin
And even though it's hard, that's who I believe in
Before I'm leavin I'm askin the grievin - who do you believe in?

[singer + (2Pac)]
I'm askin (Who do you believe in?)
I'm askin you (Put my faith in God)
(That's who I believe in)
(Before I'm leavin I'm askin the grievin - who do you believe in?)

[2Pac]
Who do you believe in?
I'm blessed and still breathin
That's who I believe in
Before I'm leavin, I'm askin the grievin
Who do you believe in?
Who do you believe in? [echoes to fade]

Our Dramatic Denouement

"So Banaias the son of Joiada went up, and setting upon him slew him"


--------------------/ Our Dramatic Denouement; The Thoughts Of Banaias As He Met Eyes With Joab One Last Time [1 Kings and Things Chapter 2]


Sanctuaries surely shelter souls shaken seeking solace and
substantially so: for Abner the son of Ner, and to Amasa the son of Jether
their stellar memories sleep solemnly here
and in the hearts of their sweet kin shooting
up to their soul’s stars as they savor each sunset shouting
loudly in the spirit of salutation: we will never forget! soon
enough will see you again, and they also rest
in the annals of King David soberly, and in time shamefully
stirring up recollections of the silent storms that
siphoned any joy he would have had in his last sad moments
sharing his greatest journey (to God) with his friends
dying in peace
and for this you have expressed zero remorse
perhaps haughtily ignorant or worse cynically indifferent
yet now irony prevails and has chased you into the corners
of the very tabernacle that your actions humiliated and slighted
kneeling down before a God you sneeringly dismissed
as your own subordinate, subjugated to whim and preference
snubbing his guidance and precepts
without food
without friend to comfort
only the harrowing episodic flashbacks of their last screams
and the multiple voices of your inner desire salivating at the thought
of purgation
of this evil from your conscience, yet it is unremitting, and unrelenting
just beneath the altar your shadow is cast by the dwindling wick
and flickering flame of the last candle
you presciently thought to bring with you and I see a sagging, sulking,
sullen man
slinking against the wall
a shell
of what he used to be. Waiting to die, wanting
the Angel of Death to silence the shrills of guilt.
When I was younger, like you, I used to scuttle over to
the tabernacle full of dreams, always wondering what the future
in her provenance might hold
little did we both know that our divergent paths would
one dark day cross in this place for the denouement
under entirely different circumstances, and us having
a completely inverse relationship to the other
in the beginning you prayed for a prosperous life
no matter the wiles, while I prayed for a meager death
broadly embracing asceticism
yet in the end it is death that has come for you
sinister in her demands
and life who has greeted me with a kiss
and let me wield her poignant power
(recompensing her for those who were unceremoniously stolen)





---------------------1 Kings 2:27-34
So Solomon cast out Abiathar, from being the priest of the Lord, that the word of the Lord might be fulfilled, which he spoke concerning the house of Deli in Silo. And the news came to Joab, because Joab had turned after Adonias, and had not turned after Solomon: and Joab fled into the tabernacle of the Lord and laid hold on the horn of the altar. And it was told king Solomon, that Joab was fled into the tabernacle of the Lord, and was by the altar: and Solomon sent Banaias the son of Joiada, saying: Go, kill him. And Banaias came to the tabernacle of the Lord, and said to him: Thus saith the king: Come forth. And he said: I will not come forth, but here I will die. Banaias brought word back to the king, saying: Thus saith Joab, and thus he answered me. And the king said to him: Do as he hath said: and kill him, and bury him, and thou shalt remove the innocent blood which hath been shed by Joab, from me, and from the house of my father. And the Lord shall return his blood upon his own head, because he murdered two men, just and better than himself: and slew them with the sword, my father David not knowing it, Abner the son of Ner, general of the army of Israel, and Amasa the son of Jether, general of the army of Juda. And their blood shall return the head of Joab, and upon the head of his seed for ever. But to David and his seed and his house, and to his throne be peace for ever from the Lord. So Banaias the son of Joiada went up, and setting upon him slew him, and he was buried in his house in the desert.

kickin' it with Samson, son!

[The setting: While listening to Rebecca St. James’ latest worship album, Tony is raptured in spiritual ecstasy up to Heaven where he is immediately transported to Samson’s 3 story brick and stone mansion. Tony, shocked at the lack of doors in all of the mansions, approaches Samson after letting himself in and following downstairs what sounds to be a bombastic arcade game. Tony notices Samson reclining on a lazyboy chair his gaze steadily affixed on a 77 inch flat screen plasma television set while clasping with both hands what appears to be an Xbox 360 controller. Samson is wearing Nike shoes without socks, a black tank-top and striped orange basketball shorts. His shoulder length hair appears to have just been loosed from a pony tail. Just beyond the lazyboy chair is what appears to be a lion skin, most likely an artifact from his days on earth. Tony assesses that this must be Samson’s basement. The walls are bare, and the floor is comprised of bare wood-paneling, though with a glossy finish. There is a fireplace just to the right of the chair, and a plush green futon on the side of the room opposite the fireplace. There is a coordinated desk and chair set with an iPad2 and Dell Laptop on it adjacent to the futon. After his quick appraisal of the room, Tony approaches Samson primed to interrupt his seemingly endless Street Fighter 4 gaming session:]


Tony: WHAAAAT UP SON?

Samson [pausing Street Fighter 4 and turning his head, a bit startled]: ….Tony? Is that you? How did you get here, isn’t it a little too early for you to be here? Youre not supposed to get here until…

[The Archangel Gabriel appears and admonishes Samson not to disclose the exact hour of Tony’s entry into Heaven, and then vanishes.]

Samson: …..never mind. So listen, my dude, you have interrupted a titillating match! I was STRAIGHT giving it to that cat online! I LOVE USING DHALISM!

Tony: wait, so there’s online connectivity in Heaven? THERE’S AN INTERNET IN HEAVEN?

Samson [with an incredulous look, as though recognition of internet in Heaven should be patently obvious]: uhh….YEAH! How else do you think I can play CS Lewis and consistently beat his agonizingly predictable Chun-Li? His mansion is way on the other side, near the Benjamin gate! You expect me to just whiff over there unannounced? Come on dawg. Plus how else could I justify my Xbox live monthly fee? After all, THE PLAYSTATION NETWORK IS PRONE TO HACKING ATTACKS! You think I want my personal information exposed?

Tony [head spinning]: …..woooah. WOOOAH. [chuckling in disbelief] AM I DREAMING!!! You know what? You have left so many loose strands there that need to be tied up that Id best leave all of those implausibilities alone. I mean I don’t even know which logical absurdity to pick apart first. There cant possibly be enough time to flesh all of your senseless chatter out.

Samson [bemused]: HUH?

Tony: Nothing. I mean, cant you…I mean isn’t it futile to have…I mean cant you do stuff without constraints up here? Why tether yourself to Xbox Live and Bill Gates when you can FREAKING LIVE FOREVER AND FLY AND STUFF?

Samson: Listen dude, you are speaking so 21st century right now its disgusting. Think about it….do you know when I was born dude? You think I had a chance to play Xbox as a FRICKING JUDGE OF ANCIENT ISRAEL? HUH??

Tony: ……….er…good point

Samson: I mean, dude, I HAD TO, NO JOKE, BATHE IN A FRICKING RIVER! WHILE BEARS WATCHED ME DESIROUS OF MY FLESH! You think I had the luxury of taking a hot shower with a pulsating setting back then, all while listening to JUSTIN BIEBER? THIS IS HEAVEN TO ME DUDE! I mean, me and St Paul just upgraded from Dial-Up and switched to Comcast from Prodigy, and now youre giving me grief for using Xbox live? I don’t get you man….I don’t get you.

[Samson shakes his head and closes his eyes utterly shocked at Tony’s willing embrace of presumption and entitlements, and taking privileged things for granted.]

Tony: …. My bad my dude. I never thought of things that way. I guess I assumed we would have the same frame of reference. My apologies. At least tell me you don’t have to wash clothes up here…I mean, I see youre wearing some 1995 Nike Air Jordans and all.

[Samson raises his right forearm and the back of his hand towards Tony, dropping his controller in the process in a gesture set to intimate a strike. Tony ducks and cowers.]

Tony …. Woaaahh, woooahhh. DUDE, DUDE DON’T TAZE ME BRO!

Samson: Boy I oughtta smack the…..

[Samson lowers his hand and picks his controller back up]

Tony: DUDE YOURE FREAKING SAMSON, KILLER OF PHILISTINES WITH THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS!

Samson [warning Tony sternly, and reducing his voice to a whisper]: shhhhhh!!! Pipe down, I live next door to one of the dudes I killed back in the day!!!

Tony: Look man, all Im saying is you is a pretty strong dude. I don’t want no parts of a beat down at your hands, ya dig?

Samson: Look man, I aint about that. I beat people up in Street Fighter 4 online….thats about it.

Tony [looking at Samson’s luxurious locks of hair]: I see you still keeping the hair tight! GET IT RIGHT, GET IT RIGHT – GET IT TIGHT!

[Tony reaches over and starts stroking Samson’s hair, which elicits a body slam from Samson and a brief moment of unconsciousness for Tony]

Tony [coming to]: ….what, what happened?

Samson [pausing the game again]: look dude, DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH A NAZARENE’S RADIO, I MEAN HAIR! Boooooy! You done gave me a Delilah flashback!!!

Tony: Oh yeah! That’s why Im here actually. I wanted to tip you off to my latest blogpost, son! Im writing about how you literally raised the roof on those Philistines after they gouged out your eyes….HEY WAIT A MINUTE!! YOU GOT YOUR EYES BACK SON! FAR OUT!

Samson [contemplating raising his hand to smack Tony again, but then reconsiders, seeing as though he just body slammed him for touching his hair]: yes I got my eyes back man. Jesus hooked me up! LIKE YOU SAID THIS IS FRICKING HEAVEN, LAND OF ALL THE AMENITIES! Oh yeah, I saw that pic you got with Rebecca St. James at her latest concert, son – good deal! Shes one heck of a woman. Her mansion is going to be TIZ-IGHT! Jesus informed me it might be one of the biggest He’s ever built.

Tony: bigger than mine?

Samson [welling up with uncontrollable laughter]: BWAAAAAAHHH, HAAAAAH, HAAAAAH…HAH! HAH! BWAAAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAA!

[The Archangels Gabriel, Michael and Raphael, appear and share in the laughter briefly then vanish again. St Paul and St John teleport in and out to do the same]

Tony: ……?

Samson: ahhhh man, that was funny. Thanks for making me laugh. I haven’t laughed like that since St. Jude tried to drive a car for the first time and almost crashed into the back of Jesus’ foot while He was welcoming someone into to their new mansion!

Tony [blushing and humbled]:………………

Samson: So yeah, what about this blogpost? http://thejesusmetaphor.blogpsot.com
right? Man Ive been reading your stuff. The only thing I can say is, dude lay off the anxiety about finding a babe dude. Up here you wont even be limiting yourself with women to that capacity. Spiritual love always trumps physical love son….even the exulted love one experiences in marriage.

Tony [rolling his eyes]: ….WHATever! Im gonna get me a hot babe and get my holy romance on son!

[Samson winds up to punch Tony across the room]

[The Virgin Mary appears and scolds Samson for harsh treatment of guests, then greets Tony briefly before leaving]

Tony [sticking his tongue out]: haaaa-haaaa! Nan nan a boo-boo!

Samson: Just show me the post!

Tony: Yeah, like I said its about your last moments on earth son, before you got to take hot showers and clip your toe-nails up here!

[Samson glares at Tony]




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Redemption of The Last Supper of The Godless

--------------/The Redemption of The Last Supper of The Godless: The Thoughts of Samson Before He Pushed The Pillars In The Temple of Dagon


Merriment in temples of the godless treacherous
Dagon
the smell of cooked and seasoned meats
and aroma of fine wine diffused by frequent clashing of cups
music, cymbals, tambourines and drumbeats travel
through the air interrupted only by exuberant women’s laughter
and hardy roaring from churlish men
during the procession’s intermissions
yet amidst the celebratory craze
I can only contrive visions and sentiments and joys
from the past
trying to cry at night in a squalid prison cell with no eyes
the impotence of straining to free myself from once flaccid
shackles from which I often took pride in scoffing
(yet failing over and over again screaming)
the vivacious voice of my once demure wife to whom I gave my heart
with abandon once so soothing
now the shrill of tormented souls lost in the afterlife
without hope threatening me in my dreams
I miss the touch of her face against mine
I miss the tender caress and stroke of her hands
in my hair
the look of terror in the eyes of man and beast at
the reception of my glare
the freedom of choice that strength gave
the pride, the satisfaction
and its attendant comforts of control and autonomy
and dictation
now all but a faint memory at daybreak which only
appears to me as night
from now on
forever….night. darkness. despair
While those around me exalt in my debasement
I find refuge only in my grandiose play and feast of past thoughts,
in Israel and in the man I used to be
though if any solace can be found
I pray
it will greet me as redemption draws nigh
and restoration of former glories ride in like a cavalry
offering to take me away to a place I can exchange
bitter sorrows for my two eyes again
the false notion of a lifeless god for a powerful God
who heals and restores - Yahweh
and two pillars for all the lives of those who caused me
this insufferable harm






-----Judges 16:23-31
And the princes of the Philistines assembled together, to offer great sacrifices to Dagon their god, and to make merry, saying: Our god hath delivered our enemy Samson into our hands. And the people also seeing this, praised their god, and said the same: Our god hath delivered our adversary into our bands, him that destroyed our country and killed very many. And rejoicing in their feasts, when they had now taken their good cheer, they commanded that Samson should be called, and should play before them. And being brought out of prison he played before them, and they made him stand between two pillars. And he said to the lad that guided his steps: Suffer me to touch the pillars which support the whole house, and let me lean upon them, and rest a little. Now the house was full of men and women, and all the princes of the Philistines were there. Moreover about three thousand persons of both sexes from the roof and the higher part of the house, were beholding Samson's play. But he called upon the Lord, saying: O Lord God, remember me, and restore to me now my former strength, O my God, that I may revenge myself on my enemies, and for the loss of my two eyes I may take one revenge. And laying hold on both the pillars on which the house rested, and holding the one with his right hand, and the other with his left, He said: Let me die with the Philistines. And when he had strongly shook the pillars, the house fell upon all the princes, and the rest of the multitude that was there: and he killed many more at his death, than he had killed before in his life. And his brethren and all his kindred, going down took his body, and buried it between Saraa and Esthaol in the buryingplace of his father Manue: and he judged Israel twenty years.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Rebecca, June 18, 2011 and Forever

BEST SONG EVER!!!!






Rebecca,

Where do I begin? It is fitting that after all these years, you being the inspiration, thrust, and exuberance of my faith in Jesus, that God in His Mercy would send you to me as a sort of final encouragement to lift my sprits from the glut of depression and guilt over my recent sins and propel me to complete the calling and ministry He intended for me to fulfill before the world was created. [You see, I wish to sustain believers and lead thirsty souls to Christ too.] You have been, are, and will be the joy, the compassion, the beauty, the loyalty, the devotion to Abba Father from which I derive hope (since the earliest days of my faith). Your songs are my worship language before the Blessed Trinity, your faith lived in full genuineness is my template for being a favored child of God, your charity, chastity, and consistency are vouchsafes from my beloved sister in Christ meant to illuminate my faith in the valley of the shadow of death. Rebecca, I love you – not in some tawdry, salacious way but in the most self deprecating, humble sense – I don't know what I would do, or who I would be if you hadn’t existed and obediently followed Christ's call. So I am not misconstrued, this is not a celebratory missive touting my superlatives that are derivative from you. I do not stand before you proclaiming flawlessness; on the contrary, it is because of my wretchedness that I come crawling before God listening to your songs about brokenness, loving God, being vulnerable before God, celebrating His Goodness. For it is because you have lived such a sterling Christian life and left behind such a magnanimous Christian example that I have been moved to do the same, and give up my lawlessness and lustfulness and selfishness and idolatry. Just the sound of your voice liberates my soul from prison like the shadow of Peter healed destitute souls. In your absence, I would not love God with such fervor; the fire of my passion for ministry would just be a simple diminutive flickering flame without your largesse. Rebecca, I might have been apostate if it weren't for you, distant from God, aloof from His Truth, and indifferent to worship – I certainly wouldn’t have written my blog if it weren't for you. My greatest triumphs in faith are partially yours, and my greatest failures are mine, but because of you not for long. I have not come here to worship you or idolize you, rather I want to recognize and pay homage to the power that a godly woman can have on a man who wishes to be godly like she is. I remember years ago, in college worshipping God alone in my church’s prayer room with a CD player and your Pray, Transform and first worship CD with my spirit rising to the third heaven it seemed, in pure joyful ecstasy. I remember years ago seeing you in concert in Delaware and then years later seeing you in Pennsylvania filled with giddiness, zeal, and hey, I'll admit it, a HUGE crush! But yet, providentially I always revered you in a special way, reminiscent of the respect reserved for Catholic saints, or the way that people speak anecdotally of other people serving as their "angels." And these were the best times, Rebecca, honestly. I feel like when I see you, hear your songs, or think about your stunning accomplishments that time stops and God becomes a bit more tangible, a bit less opaque, you know? That God would use someone so real, so relatable, so kind speaks volumes about the type of God that Yahweh is. He is not some dictator, or draconian taskmaster anxiously waiting to beat someone with a rod.....no, like he told Moses , He is "slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation." He is a God who wishes to communicate His attributes through a graceful, pretty and creative and wonderful godly woman such as yourself. So in full disclosure it is because of you that I often times bowed down at the mercy seat of God just to inquire about His Nature, full of boldness and seeking creative license to minister to others like you. It has been so long, almost an eternity Rebecca since I last saw you, worshipped the way I used to worship with your CDs, yet when I saw you Saturday it was as if no time had passed at all. In an instant, God raised to life my old self, like Lazarus, and all the torpor caused by beating myself up over my sins vanished. I guess you could say that my faith life has had its peaks and valleys since I last saw you. But I feel that God predestined us to meet again so that I could resurrect these old pious desires and exorcise the demons of temptation and backsliding once for all. Thank you. Thank you for once again giving me new life in Christ, and I thank Christ once again for giving me new life in you. Your spirit has been God's most precious gift to me, and not only, but also to the Christian community writ large, as evinced by your numerous awards and albums.

Congratulations on your marriage, your newfound aspiration to do films and work to preserve the sanctity of life, saving babies from potential abortion. I guess all of this is appropriate since you have always been the model for all future wives to follow, the superstar of Christian circles, and improved the quality of life for all humanity by lifting up high for all to see the sanctity of Christ's life. I cant say this forcibly enough: thank you, I love you. Thank you for saving my life from the depths of depravity, thanks for the encouragement to seek Christ, thanks for giving me the moxy and resolve to stay sexually pure (at least physically) for my wife one day, yet I also thank you for eliciting godly shame for not staying pure emotionally and spiritually. How could I look you or any other Christian woman in the eyes after habitually lusting after untoward things?
Thank you for the inspiration to write, whether my writings are always received well or not. My intention is never to degrade but only to spark curiosity, and devotion to Jesus.

So lets see, if you were to ask.....my favorite songs are: Come Quickly, Lest I Forget, Omega, and Better is One Day! Anyway, I could go on forever here but suffice it to say my life has been forever changed because of you. All Glory to God because of you. You are my angel, my saint, my ethos....I owe you everything because without you I would have fallen into Satan's arms.

I guess what Im really trying to say is that I admire you, and I want to be just like you, Rebecca.

And ever since I found out about you, I always have. I look up to you.

I probably wont ever see you again, but trust me, you will always be in my thoughts. I cant thank you enough for all youve done.

Your brother in Christ -I love you Sis,

Tony