On The Cusp of Something Big...

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Dedicated to Augustana - Wasteland
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvY6yU5sK_E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl94FSUxGlU

---------On The Cusp of Something Big/ The Full Moon Rises (The Thoughts of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane)




Last night I was in a dream
by frigid winds surrounded
and
standing atop a precipice staring
at crashing waves below
howling wolves, screeching owls, bellowing oxen
pierced my ears
my heart weighed by deep sorrow wrenching
and pulling
...tears pouring. I closed my eyes as the wind
tipped me over

But my sleep was stirred by the warmth of the sun
and I woke up next to Peter
fast asleep
the day of Unleavened Bread, a meal prepared
wine and quiet
hymns and bonding and my soul laid bare before my disciples
wide smiles, hands draped over shoulders
John laying on my chest
eat my flesh for it is your bread
drink my blood for it is your wine
Peace
Happiness
our time together - this night
Our last

Because now my Betrayer is at hand
(I hear the latches of Hades' gates slowly opening)
it is a Cup
I wish not to drink
I feel the cold shackles of Death fastening on my wrists
and the stress is killing me....
Im so tired Im so scared Im so angry Im so downcast
my mind flashes back to the wedding at Cana
imagery with which my Fathers Angel consoles
yet it is not my Will
but my drops of blood (from my forehead)
into that Cup falling
nails prepared, hammered into my hands screaming
-the worlds salvation-
That Will be done


(God, Father, please dont let me Fall)


-----------------------
Luke 22:43-45-
Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow.

John Chrysostom, Homily 83 on Matthew-
And He prays with earnestness, in order that the thing might not seem to be acting. And sweats flow over him for the same cause again, even that the heretics might not say this, that He acts the agony. Therefore there is a sweat like drops of blood, and an angel appeared strengthening Him, and a thousand sure signs of fear, lest any one should affirm the words to be feigned. For this cause also was this prayer. By saying then, If it be possible, let it pass from me, He showed His humanity; but by saying, Nevertheless not as I will, but as You will, He showed His virtue and self-command, teaching us even when nature pulls us back, to follow God. For since it was not enough for the foolish to show His face only, He uses words also. Again, words sufficed not alone, but deeds likewise were needed; these also He joins with the words, that even they who are in a high degree contentious may believe, that He both became man and died. For if, even when these things are so, this be still disbelieved by some, much more, if these had not been. See by how many things He shows the reality of the incarnation: by what He speaks, by what He suffers. -