The Garden Of You and Me Not Together, Never Together (You Damned Sexy Girl of Perdition)

[How could you smile at me the other day? It felt like a burning kiss]
--------/The Garden

Those teeth of yours, like torches

(your chipper mood-

pretty little fingers dangerously close to charring wood.)

They lit up my dark night (of soul), molars like flames

of feminine passion stirring me from monotony

in the Garden of my loneliness praying away impending gloom.  

I know youre getting married soon,

7 inch thorns braided into a crown of mockery, blood pouring

as memories of us speaking to one another, blurred lines

of my heart’s sight await; Your wedding –

a macabre Roman style crucifixion of me being happy.   

But what is with the cruel swords and clubs ?

widespread social acceptance by our friends cutting,

a sudden savage stab, slit of blade,  

the blunt stoic delivery of this news to me barbaric,

bludgeoning my already bruised self-esteem.   

Dare you, then, kiss me with a smile?

You tell your friends Im just "Rabbi" to you

belying our intimacy with formality, your duplicative generic bud.  

DON’T THEY KNOW WE WERE FALLING IN LOVE

once…? That is, before you dated him.

But I wont resist this betrayal, vindictive scourge of the spurned,

I’ll just walk away “seized,” head held down and mute.

I’ll die for your sins,

these romantic fissures enlarging between us by day

nakedly vulnerable and shamed before those who knew me strong.

I am not of this world anymore,

returning to the celestial kingdom I used to have

where I can dream of kissing you for real

without the deceit.

------Mark 14:43-45

And immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard.” And when he came, he went up to him at once and said, “Rabbi!” And he kissed him.

Field Hockey Savior (Ascending into Clouds)

 So wait, you surmise that after falling (hard) for you, that Im just going to sit idly by as you waltz off into wedded bliss with another man? IS THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT??!!! DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT I WOULD BE MOROSE, WISTFUL???? All I can do now is stare into the clouds, wondering what I’ll do without the faint hope of the slim possibility of you coming back to me….the hope I had become so adjusted and well adapted to…

* Dedicated to Alesana, Heavy Hangs the Albatross

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxEg_L4avfU ----> Clicketh that Linketh, yall-eth!!!

Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven?

--------/Field Hockey Savior (Ascending into Clouds)

Before I met you, this young brunette jocular cynic,

life was like fishing

on waters of romantic obscurity casting nets to no avail,

guided by stoicism familiar to me like a father,

the lead boat.  

You spoke life, encouraging me like your breath

into my lungs, a man of the depressing dust molded

into a disciple- by his God. Come and follow, taste and see

your charm like miracles, your hips incited my heart to walk on water

incisive feminine wit like five loaves and two fish multiplied

fed my appetite for meaning, vanquishing famished crowds

of ennui, my 14 years of singleness an emaciated hope.   

For a while, blissfully, we walked together.

(But deep inside I knew your virgin birth into my life,

replete with angels of my desire singing, would end in distress.)

When you told me you began dating him,

I know you saw the vexation in my eyes, a soul crushed

the news casting me behind you as Satan.

And now youre getting married, spikes in your hands

a crown of thorns on your head. Roman soldiers

of cruel and callous fate spitting, whipping and driving

a nail in your feet, killing you without breaking bones…

everything about this galling to me.

The fact that we cant be together is crucifixion.

Youre gone now,

ring on your finger like the tomb of a rich man,

body sealed with a stone from Joseph of Arimathea.

Disbelief, youre dead to me aren’t you?

Fighting back tears I stare blankly into the sky,

echoes of your voice, hallucinations of your smile

wishing you were still here.

------------Acts 1:4-12

And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me. For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence. When they therefore were come together, they asked of him, saying, Lord, wilt thou at this time restore again the kingdom to Israel? And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power. But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight. And while they looked stedfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel; Which also said, Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven. Then returned they unto Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is from Jerusalem a sabbath day's journey.