(image from preachbrotherbob.blogspot.com)
* dedicated to Bobby Brown - not the singer but my codespeak for the girl I love(d) over the weekend - I wish I could be your man
* dedicated to Dashboard Confessional, Again I Go Unnoticed
Listen to Chris Carrabba yall.....DASHBOARD RULES!!!!
okay so we've all alighted upon this path before right? You know, boy likes girl, girl sees him as completely transparent...or how should I elucidate that point more effectively?.... Girl blows him off completely! Alas thats what happened to me at this year's 2012 (forgive the redundancy) Holy Trinity YAC Spring Retreat! I looked in said girl's eyes and she batted her dissonant eyelashes back at me...I knew forever, forever, ever, that we could never be. The utter finality of it all....at a church retreat! I stood staring at the bonfire, at the burning pyre of our chances together. [OH WELL! THERE'S ALWAYS THE FALL 2012 HOLY TRINITY YAC RETREAT!!! C U GUYS THERE!!!]
--------------/The Body of Moses
Before I met you life was arid desert beset by the stench of dung
of livestock (of the lonely) crawling on knees long since singed
on midday hot sands (of brazen disregard by the opposite sex)
with a parched tongue begging for water (of affection) complaining;
I was Moses
of my motley emotions, figurehead of a Hebrew people of angst,
unrest, plaintiveness....lugubriousness, excitement, cynicism, suspicion, hopefulness lust love and yearning
unsure of what to do and led by a cloud of Inspiration that eventually
assured we would all be happy...cooperative....in love....in time
When I met you it was like sleeping in a tent snoring in unison with sheep
of those resigned to pessimism
when abruptly the vision became clear (at an Ignatian prayer service)
my destiny is a country of milk and honey: your brown hair, your smooth white skin your smile [your juicy thighs in leggings] the sun shining
in an exotic land very near - and a smooch
for those steadfast and persevering (fractious feelings)
beckoning with a menial yet impactful caveat: hold my emotions
with equanimity, honoring your anonymity
whilst the waters of patience sweetly and beautifully flowed
Yet (at the 2012 YAC Spring Retreat) I disobeyed
sense and sensibility I struck the rock of my excitement
in disdain to censure my nagging cynicism and suspicion and
plaintive unrest
in the face of such beauty
coercing the waters of hasty petulant inevitability of rejection
by coming on too strong
and unsurprisingly the water I was hoping to share with you was bitter.
Despairingly I attempted to look at you across from the bonfire/
one last attempt at passion
but you turned your gaze you said "Let it suffice thee;
speak no more unto me of this matter
(of romance)"
The only consolation I had that last night of the retreat:
gazing at you (as my wife) as you walked away
in the company of your girl friends disconsolate musing I would
never kiss you with feet on soil of Gilead, or Judah or Ephraim
(joy, elation, seduction)
relegated to standing atop Pisgah (the nearest picnic table)
watching you from afar as my heart slowly died
reaching out to touch you, my arms limp falling into embers
---------------/
Numbers 20:10-13
And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock? And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also. And the Lord spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.
Deuteronomy 3:23-26
And I besought the Lord at that time, saying, O Lord God, thou hast begun to shew thy servant thy greatness, and thy mighty hand: for what God is there in heaven or in earth, that can do according to thy works, and according to thy might? I pray thee, let me go over, and see the good land that is beyond Jordan, that goodly mountain, and Lebanon. But the Lord was wroth with me for your sakes, and would not hear me: and the Lord said unto me, Let it suffice thee; speak no more unto me of this matter.
Deuteronomy 34:1-5
And Moses went up from the plains of Moab unto the mountain of Nebo, to the top of Pisgah, that is over against Jericho. And the Lord shewed him all the land of Gilead, unto Dan, And all Naphtali, and the land of Ephraim, and Manasseh, and all the land of Judah, unto the utmost sea, And the south, and the plain of the valley of Jericho, the city of palm trees, unto Zoar. And the Lord said unto him, This is the land which I sware unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, saying, I will give it unto thy seed: I have caused thee to see it with thine eyes, but thou shalt not go over thither. So Moses the servant of the Lord died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the Lord.
---------Again I Go Unnoticed, Lyrics
Another Wasted Night,
The Television Steals The Conversation
Exhale,
Another Wasted Breath,
Again It Goes Unnoticed.
Please Tell Me You're Just Feeling Tired
Cause If It's More Than That I Feeel That I Might Break
Out Of Touch, Out Of Time.
Please Send Me Anything But Signals That Are Mixed
Casue I Can't Read Your Rolling Eyes
Out Of Touch, Are We Out Of Time?
Close Lipped
Another Goodnight Kiss
Is Robbed Of All It's Passion,
Your Grip
Another Time, Is Slack
It Leaves Me Feeling Empty.
I'll Wait Until Tomorrow
Maybe You'll Feel Better Then
Maybe We'll Be Better Then
So What's Another Day
When I Can't Bear These Nights Of Thoughts
Of Going On Without You
This Mood Of Yours Is Temporary
It Seems Worth The Wait
To See Your Smile Again
Out Of The Corner Of Your Eye
Wont Be The Only Way You'll Look At Me Then.
